Here we are, in February. Known for a few notable mentions. Black history month, being the shortest month of the year, and the ever popular commercial love fest that is Valentine’s day.
It always strikes me as ironically funny that the media presents this as the season… The holiday of love. As if love could ever be out of season, or just regulated to this one day of year. Personally, I’ve always gone out of my way just to protest against the commercializing of love for profit. While I still feel that way, I have learned that’s a young and dumb man’s game. Easy to make the moral high ground argument and stubbornly hold on to my feeling of being right. Unfortunately, an older wiser me has learned that morally right or not, some battles are not worth it. It’s a losing battle kids… avoid the cold lonely dog house in the midst of winter, Lol!
That said, my righteous indignation against this holiday aside, the idea of celebrating love, is a beautiful thing. Often praised as one of the highest aspects to aspire to, in this game called life, love is definitely a subject worth celebrating. Which makes me think how much of a missed opportunity many people experience, as this holiday focuses primarily on romantic love. A missed opportunity in that, it fails to honor all other aspects of love. Familial, friendly, universal and possibly the highest form, unconditional.
Unconditional love, may indeed be the most highly spoken of, but seldom seen expression of love. An ideal that many strive for, and even tout in actuality but fail to live up to. For how often do we see it, maybe from parent to child? Truthfully even that, is a hard maybe, for as many observe, even in relationships like that, there often seem to be some conditionality. While these conditions may not ever be spoken they are certainly felt. The ‘Do this, or else’ approach, too often giving the feeling that ‘or else’ ends up being the taking away of love, through punishment. While that is never the point or objective it still feels like the underlying sentiment to those on the receiving end. Ive often find myself walking that thin line of reaffirming my love for my child, even as I have to discipline him, just so he is aware that the punishment doesn’t equal the lack of love. It’s a difficult line to walk.
Truthfully I don’t know if it’s 100 percent possible to offer UNCONDITIONAL love, in this life… Until we learn to start with ourselves that is. For how can we extend such sentiment to anyone else when in most cases we haven’t really given it to ourselves. As I continue learning and growing in my journey and on this path, I’ve come to realize that unconditional love ultimately starts with me. Through the process of self healing, self care, resolving past issues, learning to love my inner child, forgiving myself for old transgression and so much more… I can see how much I really haven’t been loving myself as I should. A sentiment I believe shared by many others, especially prior to doing the work to get there. Yet as I continue to do the work and embrace myself more and more. I am able step into that space of unconditional love for self. Little by little, and I can see… I can feel.. myself grow in how much more loving I am to others. I’m witnessing the unconditionality of my love spread from myself to my love ones, into the world at large and I experience miracles all around me on a daily basis. With my son, in my family, my personal and professional life and on and on. It’s amazing the wonders you can experience when you can begin to embrace yourself, love yourself and spread it fourth. The process is daily, it’s incremental and it’s work… But it’s so worth it.
So for this Valentine’s day I offer you a gift, a reminder… A challenge. Be good to yourselves as you want to be for others. Offer yourself some of that love, that you in your totally awesome being, generously look to share. Be your own Valentine in addition to or regardless of whether you have another Valentine. Love yourself , little by little, everyday, today, on the 14th and beyond. Allow yourself to experience miracles!
Peace and blessings, Namaste.