Pigeon-held to peoples expectations

We’ve all have experienced it. The weight of the demands everyone else seems to have for you.  Whether it’s your parents and siblings, who expect you to conform and act a certain way, based on the actions and situations of the past.  The presumptions family and longtime friends may make and hold you to because they insist they know you so well. Almost as if they know you better than you may know yourself. the responsibilities we take on in life, in our relationships, our families, our overall networks leading everyone around you to believe that you are obliged to do the things and live your life in a way that complies with them. In a way that makes them happy.

These expectations and obligation of others can be so pervasive that it becomes easy to believe that, the whims and desires of others are what we are all about. That our lives are solely to please those around us, and we can easily lose track of our own desires and expectation for ourselves. Living (down) to the preconceived notions and the desires everyone else may have for us.

Truth is though… that it is all total bullshit! We aren’t obligated to live for anyone else… That is not WHY we came here.

Now yes, its true, we do accumulate obligations and responsibilities in life. Often times, involving others that we are co-creating with. Building a business, u may have partners, staff etc. A family? There’s your spouse, kids or whoever you’re dating, etc. Bottom line, this life is not without connection to others and with those connections, it’s understandable why others may feel we are obligated to them in some way. Hell, we are probably guilty of hoisting those same burdens and obligations on other too. It is a common part of life.

Still, our life, the way we live it and the choices we make are what bring about the responsibilities and obligations we take on. That should always begin with US. Its difficult enough to live up to the responsibilities we take on for ourselves… even more so, for those heaped on us by others.  When we live in service to ourselves, our willing choice… to take on the things we choose… rather than the desires of others, we become much more empowered and enable to fully embrace our lives. Living up to our own desires and demands from self instead of living down to the expectations and demands of others.

This isn’t to justify being completely selfish and self-serving either. We live in and love in a world full or others and there is something to be said in acting accordingly. Acknowledging when others are relying on us (especially based on the choices we have indeed made), caring for the well being of our loved ones and those around us, etc. 

I do not believe we could ever be truly fulfilled living solely for ourselves. And, when our own choices lead us to working with others… when our hearts push us towards being there for others… we have a duty to ourselves to do what we can as such.

What I am actually cautioning against is that pitfall that comes about when our lives begin to revolve around everyone else desires of and for us. When we begin putting all that crap ahead of our own needs and neglecting…rejecting our true sense of self.

It’s okay to be like Sarah sometime… in service to what is best for ourselves

When we do that… our lives become shadows of what they could be. We become shadows of the dopeness we truly are. Shadows of the true brilliance and heights we can attain, when aligned with ourselves, for real.

We’re the only ones qualified to determine what our obligation and responsibilities are. We become automatons when we go hands off and let others (as well-meaning as they may be) dictate to us what our lives should be.  To do that is disrespect and betrayal of self, that communicates to our subconscious that we don’t value our selves and we put our own well being last. Its a painful and toxic way to live.

Living life on our own accord, however … taking on those responsibilities we willingly choose to create…that’s a different story. when we can respect ourselves and our boundaries, enough to say no… enough to not cow-toe and cater solely to the whims of others… to do what’s contrary others wishes in service to our selves. This is what brings that sense of self-respect and helps lead us closer to a more fulfilled and blessed life. A life that we can always stand up in because it is that which we choose to create for us, as opposed to a life out of control because we’ve given everyone else the power and the mandate over what we do.  

But these are just the rambling of a father wishing to see us all take-back control of our lives and create the greatness we want… the greatness inside of us all!

Wishing that for all my #CultDaddies, #CultMommies and #CultKiddies out there. 

Peace and blessings, unitl next time.

Namaste (The god in me recognizes and acknowledges the god in you)

About the Author Zay

Fatherhood is a helluva ride. The motivating factors in this whirlwind adventure that is my life, are my passion and my heart. All things spiritual feed my soul. Technology fuels curiosity and imagination. Yet my family, brings me peace... Blessings! The God in me, acknowledges the god in you! Namaste!

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