The importance of Self-validation
Why do we insist on comparing ourselves to others? We hope and wait to receive love from everyone else. We spend so much time, effort and energy seeking the approval, the love, the validation we need everywhere else but ourselves. Here is why ultimately, it’s a disservice to ourselves in the end.
Looking for others to validate us
From childhood, we are often encouraged to look towards others for our answers and approval. We are raised to listen to and obey our parents, teachers, adults of authority, etc. As a Father, I know first hand, when it comes to kids, that is partly necessary. However, a lot of teaching and molding often has an added side effect of telling our children that they don’t know what’s best for them and that the need to look to others to guide them.
So we grow up developing habits seeking everyone else’s input over our own. Whether its seeking our parents approval, our teacher guidance, our friends praise, our love interest’s admiration and acknowledgments… whatever it is we get used to the mold of looking at other to feed us what we need. External validation
What we have forgotten : validating ourselvs
But, whatever happened to our own internal validation. The innate with us comes from living, growing through life experiences. What happened to our inner guidance systems, meant to guides us down our own right path towards our individual destinations.
We’ve forgotten how to listen to the beat of our own drums. So much so to the point that when we see it in others, we look in awe. Stare in shock. Call them crazy for having the audacity to break from the heard. To break from the mob mentality that comes with a culture conditioned in listening to and following others. Seeking approval and following the masses to our shared destination of complete reliance for the things we were naturally gifted.
Finding power and freedomg in self-validation
It often takes many years for those of us who awaken from this morass to rebuild that connection to self. That connection where we are no longer reliant and fed on what everyone else is thinking about us. Instead, we start to feel complete and whole on what we know and feel about ourselves.
It is then, in that space of connection, that we begin to taste that true freedom that empowers us. Where we no longer feel that need for an external source of validation, to dictate our paths, choices and how we feel about ourselves in life. The space where we come more into our own sovereignty and freedom… Untethered from the judgements, opinions and expectations of others… Able to be free and create and experiences and life.
Live you life free and on your terms friends… You deserve it!